Shitpost Mortem Shitpost Mortem
  • Home
  • Episodes
    Season 1 32 All Episodes 32
  • About
  • Follow
    Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Apple Podcasts
    Spotify podcast player icon Spotify
    Youtube Music podcast player icon Youtube Music
Follow
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Apple Podcasts Spotify podcast player icon Spotify Youtube Music podcast player icon Youtube Music

Episodes

32
July 19, 2026

Oops! All Weezer / Mandatory Toilet Login / Clit Morse Code

Toilet you have to log in to use / flaccid chopsticks (from wyrdash) / chopsticks with current between them so they cook your food (from wyrdash) / dating site that matches based on same mental illness / clit morse code / game like Satisfactory but with Chinese milking machines
Listen to the Episode
31
July 13, 2026

Prog Rammer / Q-tip Ear Fucking Machine / Blood Keyboard

In this extra-long episode, we discuss stupid ideas such as: rubber chicken fleshlight / game concept: roguelike that hypnotizes you in a randomized manner / prog rammer / Ich opdink æn Gjermanisk tonge / naming your son "Richard Fagg" / qtip ear fucking machine (from Alice) / programming language that evaluates the 🇳🇴 emoji as false / 2FA code that's valid for 1 second / Instant panic attack
Listen to the Episode
30
July 5, 2026

Anal Smoke Doctor / Jordan Peterson Batman Villain / Rubber Ducky You Can Fucky

We discuss stupid ideas such as: LED easy bake oven / programming language where you can only say what a variable ISN'T equal to (from lily) / rubber ducky you can fucky / smoking a joint with your ass / daedric baby names
Listen to the Episode
29
June 27, 2026

Cum Pewter / Simpsons Porn / Simlish Disease

We discuss stupid ideas such as: cooking on someone with a high fever / Ulysses video game / cum pewter / Mr. Burns Rule 34 / Head phones (one by each ear) / Simlish Bangers
Listen to the Episode
28
June 14, 2026

Clown Nipples / Smoking Dandelions / Inflatable Iceberg

We discuss stupid ideas such as: THC ovaltine / replacing your nipples with those clown flowers that squirt water / Smoking dandelions / video game that inflicts a status effect that you can only get rid of by paying real money / Polar bear floaties
Listen to the Episode
27
June 7, 2026

Region-Locked Pussy / Amiibo Surgery / Self-Deprecating Code

We discuss stupid ideas such as: region-locked pussy / Implant that unlocks a chastity cage / self-deprecating code / Becoming an amiibo / pronouncing every "ll" i see like it's welsh
Listen to the Episode
26
May 31, 2026

Penis Shock Collar / Onion Toothpaste / X-ray Tape

We discuss stupid ideas such as: Penis shock collar / Onion toothpaste / literal creepy pasta / trying to design an object that can be used in a maximum number of stupid slapstick gags / using a bunch of adhesive tape instead of an x-ray machine
Listen to the Episode
25
May 24, 2026

Squirting Bed / Baseball Chastity / Ding Dong Dang

We discuss stupid ideas such as: TI: programming language with oxford commas watch/gag new idea for a unit: the toe, equal to 2.4 inches (so there are 5 toes to a foot) bed that can moan "Doorbell" where you just touch two wires together
Listen to the Episode
24
May 17, 2026

Tiny James Bond / Cockpot / Snake Clits

We discuss stupid ideas such as: Archipelago podcast app integration strapping james bond into my xtool Cockpot Ground-source heat pump coffee maker snake-style rock climbing (no limb use allowed) Links! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_SlAzsXa7E https://www.e-reading.life/chapter.php/72065/7/clive-barker-books-of-blood-vol-1.html
Listen to the Episode
23
May 2, 2026

Reodorant / Cum Glue / Time Worm

We discuss stupid ideas such as: groomba (tiny robot vac that grooms ur dog) Reodorant Open source program that randomizes the UI layout every time you open it Time travel to one day prior but it has to pass through the digestive system of a specific guy bot that alternates between posting "it's so over" and "we're so back" at random intervals single-use book (bursts into flame upon use)
Listen to the Episode
22
April 25, 2026

Strap to Pay / Meat Batteries / 5.1 Audio Genders

We discuss stupid ideas such as: penis chip that lets you do tap to pay (alternately: strap to pay) Service that delivers toilet paper directly to your bathroom meat batteries panning audio based on the speaker's gender (women go on the left) that's uby Links! rubymayvalentine.net https://bxnshy.bandcamp.com/music CHECK EM OUT!
Listen to the Episode
21
April 11, 2026

Speeding Cars Exploder / Girl Diet / Centipede Centipede

We discuss stupid ideas such as: adventure game where like 1/3 of the run time is the main character figuring out how to crossdress by combining objects in their inventory Centipede Centipede Dyson Airblade for the whole body girl diet (only pink food) Car that explodes if you go over the speed limit Personality system that has one trait for each letter of the alphabet
Listen to the Episode
20
April 4, 2026

Spongebob Toxic Yaoi / Spusband / Forever Weed

We discuss stupid ideas such as: Idea: putting a prop 65 warning on our podcast rpg with an Unemployment attribute/stat spusband (like how husband came from "house-bond") Parking machine gambling Bed that's a square (so you can't put the fitted sheet on wrong) forever weed (thc crispr) may my enemies feel like they need to sneeze but then they just can't quite actually sneeze Website where you can bet on which video essayists will come out as trans
Listen to the Episode
19
March 28, 2026

Foot Fetish Baristas / Mental Illness Fighting Game / Smoothie Straw

In this episode, we discuss stupid ideas such as: Fighting game where every character has a different mental illness Foot fetish coffee place gacha captcha (pull an S rank waifu to continue) "muling" to mean half-assing idea: larping but to cast spells you have to do improv bits stair lift for gamer seniors straw with spinning blade inside so anything can be soup/smoothie
Listen to the Episode
18
March 21, 2026

Waffle with One Square / Refractory Period Clock / Head-Mounted Gun

We discuss stupid ideas such as: continuous vertical scroll webcomic that starts looping Razer razor (for gamers) waffle that just has a single, huge square sensory deprivation tank sex competitive game with water guns filled with ethanol. everyone has to keep their mouths open the whole time. you try to get opponents drunk Using a guy with a really consistent refractory period as a clock head-mounted gun (xkcd head canon) electrified kensington lock
Listen to the Episode
17
March 14, 2026

A totally normal episode of Shitpost Mortem

Feeling kinda irrational today
Listen to the Episode
16
March 7, 2026

Scrotum Scanner / CBT CBT / Halfabet

We discuss stupid ideas such as: skadis-mounted dildo ordering paint using hex codes ball wrinkle thumbprint scanner AI image classifier for guessing pronouns halfabet (only 13 letters) CBT CBT coming up with a new catchphrase for Amy on a weekly basis (don't even worry about it. oh brother. sounds about right. Amy Wamy Amy Wamy. there's somethin' to it. she's got the sauce. thats wamy wild) pinball machine you have to pay for with pennies gaslighting people with British units you made up (14 o...
Listen to the Episode
15
Feb. 28, 2026

Ninja Sex Clones / Lockpicking Captcha / Stew PID

We discuss stupid ideas such as: Lowercase & lockpicking minigame captcha 2FA that makes u touch grass hot ninja girl making fake clones of herself during sex, and you have to figure out which one to fuck Sci-fi idea: machine that can "create" art but it turns out it's actually plagiarizing it from parallel universes Spaghetti that kills u inventing new colors of wine stew PID
Listen to the Episode
14
Feb. 21, 2026

Shampoo with a flared base / Cummingbirds / Opposite Screws

We discuss stupid ideas such as: Frottage cheese Chair that's also a clothing rack Prank: mixing in opposite chirality screws at the hardware store Binary ruler (it has one inch, two inches, four inches, eight inches, etc. marked) Shampoo bottles with flared bases Cummingbird (penis pollinator) Putting tiny trackers along the street sweeping route and tracking them getting swept Bad idea: image format that can only do circular images Shitpost Mortem is a podcast where we discuss ideas that are ...
Listen to the Episode
13
Feb. 14, 2026

Strap-on Nose / Six Eight / Shitpisser

We discuss stupid ideas such as: cheap DIY red light therapy device (3d printed mask with holes to stick cat lasers into) making up a language that looks like it uses English spelling but is actually phonetic (like, is /koʊɣ/, is /kite/, is /mɪɣty/ https://ipa-reader.com/?text=i%3A%20ko%CA%8Aldnt%20th%C9%AA%C5%8Bk%20of%20an%20%C9%9Bksample%3A strap-on nose (for the bedroom) language where every vowel has a gender (Maria vs Mario vs Marie vs… Mariu?) Microwave that only has an add 30 second...
Listen to the Episode
12
Jan. 31, 2026

Flavored Money / Heckin-chonkeres / Trash Can Black Hole

This episode has a third host! It's Ash! We discuss stupid ideas such as: Nixie tube faces Flavored money Font that looks like it would be something upside-down (but it's not) Marketing sleep paralysis demon Ancient Greek millennial mythology about the Heckin-chonkeres JOI rhythm game Compacting trash until it forms a black hole Website that requires your password to be a valid email We slander people such as: Chicago Pope Anish Kapoor Dan Brown Links: Tgirl Dracula Flow: https://youtube.c...
Listen to the Episode
11
Jan. 24, 2026

Cum Prediction Market / Garbaceous / Kinky Puppygirls Come Over for Gay Sex

We discuss stupid ideas such as: Interactive podcast (choose your own adventure) Prediction market for who will cum first Beth's biological taxonomy mnemonic New word: garbaceous Voice training to do a Joker voice Btw they're putting homo-goblins in ur blood to turn u gay Robotgirl with a hex butthole We trick you into learning about: Late night show hosts Gnosticism Security torx
Listen to the Episode
10
Jan. 17, 2026

Mutually Exclusive Chastity / Single-Use Car / Penis Doppelganger

In this episode, we discuss stupid ideas such as: Aliens who found a piano reconstructing humans with three feet and 88 fingers Choosing hardware/software based on the silliest names (ploopy, floorp) Service that mails u a one cm cube of any element Paired mutex lock chastity cages Single-use cars Install grindr + receive dick pic speedrun (Amy's pb ~1 min) I'm poster syndrome New word: Eurodivergent
Listen to the Episode
9
Jan. 10, 2026

Stereonucleosis / Nitrile Fetish / Battery that gets soft when it's low on charge

We discuss stupid ideas such as : Ceiling roomba / Roomba that can climb stairs update / T-shirt warehouse of babel / Service that helps you match clothing to your exact skin color / Stereonucleosis / Penis POV porn / Person with a nitrile fetish / (from lily) region-locked vinyl / Battery that gets soft when it's low on charge / MIDI sex toys Links: https://bsky.app/profile/izzys.casa (she did our new theme music!) Canvas of Babel: https://www.canvasofbabel.com/ Doom with a There...
Listen to the Episode
  • 1
  • 2
  • Next
Shitpost Mortem

A podcast where we overthink stupid ideas. We talk about subjects like internet culture, sex, inadvisable inventions, and technology that sucks. Hosted by Amy and Beth

  • Episodes
  • About
  • © 2026 Shitpost Mortem
  • Podcast Website by Podpage